Turkey Basting #2

Had second IUI (intra-uterine insemnation) today.

While waiting, I was disgusted to see a pregnant woman with her 3 boys following behind her like little duckings and the forth going along for a ride in a stroller. I’m assuming since these children were not in school, they were all 5 years old and younger.  The boy in the stroller couldn’t have been older then 18 months.  She was quiet pregnant, appearing around 7-8 months but definitely not full-term yet. She was in her hyper-focus, get-‘er done, state while moving from 1 spot to another. She said very little and had quiet the somber, somewhat irritated or someone depressed look about her.  She and her family would not be considered to be “trashy” just, ummm “Dubuque”.  She appeared quiet detached from emotion, from any feelings towards her children as so many woman appear when they have more children then what they seem to be able to manage.  While leaving the back clinic area to return to the waiting area, she went straight to the tv without acknowledging me or another young woman were also sitting in the waiting area. While we were at some distance from the tv with magazines in-hand, she immediately changed the television to cartoons for her boys. They obediently sat right in front, though no audible verbal direction was given. The other woman and I exchanged glances. I grew quiet irritated that she changed the television with complete disregard for the other people in the waiting area whom could have been watching it.  Secondly, I thought to myself, if you are so unhappy with your children, why have them?  I wonder what the other young woman who exchanged that milli-second glance with me was thinking.

I become saddened about my difficulties once again by the thought that someone that appears so unhappy and depressed can still conceive (she didn’t look any younger then myself).  I was angered that some people continue to procreate despite their obvious unhappiness and difficulties being parents. Lastly, I’m jealous that this is another person that has taken for granted their ability to easily have just one more. I won’t even begin to go into the thoughts that I have about people just having so many damn children with such disregard in the consumption and environmental impact of over-populating the world…those feelings about that issue are quiet repressed at this point as controversial of a stance that is.

Now….for the two week wait.

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Hello world!

Today is the beginning of a journey for us. We’ve been trying to conceive for over 2 years now and infertility treatments are well underway. In fact, our second IUI (intra-uterine insemination) is scheduled for next week. I’m not fully sure where this journey will take us or even where it could even take us. The biggest part of this journey is discovering just that. It’s an education that is for sure.

Why today? We are officially scheduled to attend an informational/orientation to foster parenting. I recently received the paperwork from the foster-parenting organization that says “only 15% of foster children are eligible for adoption.” That is not quiet what I expected. However, I do not exactly know what I expected. It’s discouraging and overwhelming at the same time.  Furthermore, Patrick heard from a social worker today at work that there is a great need for foster parents in this area because most of the families are so large here (many families have 4 or more children) that no one can possibly take in more children via foster.  How sad is that? We are a society that continues to populate the world with more children when there are so many that are in need.

I wonder further about private adoption as well.  I have so many questions and so many fears. I worry and wonder what path are we meant to take and which one will work for us. None of the options appear ideal. I hunger for more and more information about each every option in hopes that we will discover the one that will be right for us.

… just 1 more is all that I hope for.